--regolith

Let's go through this item by item:

• Title: If my extensive research on YouTube is any indication, this is true on its face.
• Panel 1: While in YouTube videos Nelly is usually playing on the radio / PC or simply overdubbed, this comic does not have art for a radio, or a way to play sounds. Therefore, the characters present the lyrics. Note how the character on the left says that he wants to take his clothes off, foreshadowing future events!
• Panel 2: The character on the left begins to disrobe. While in the aforementioned YouTube videos it would be the teen girls doing the stripping, we lack teen-girl-stripping art. Hence, we substitute
• Panel 3: Nobody wants to see the character on the left naked. Especially not a bear who was awakened by the horrible singing in panel 1! (Note: The bear would have been even less kind had it actually been Nelly. God, Nelly sucks so much.)
• Panel 4: The bear takes care of business. He is a modern, sophisticated bear, and he forgoes messy dismemberment in favor of modern weaponry. This was taught to him by his ever-present shark companion. It's on account of their teeth that makes them "Nature's Best Friends".

-apon

• Pheromones. Humans may give off powerful pheromones that can drive bears crazy. I've never stripped in front of a bear, so I don't know what my sexy scent can do to a dumb animal like that.
• Pheromones II. The bear could have been very attracted to the man by his pheromones, but upon realizing that the object of his ardor was a human male and not an ursine female, the bear became enraged and blew is face off.
• Bad Song. The bear could have just disliked Nelly and become enraged  by the singing of a Nelly song to the point that he blew the man's face off.
• Previous Grudge. The bear could have been out to get the man for quite some time now, and because the man took off his shirt, the bear was able to locate him by his funk.
  
• Attractive Shirt. The bear could have desired the shirt but had previously been unable to figure out how to get it off the man. Since the man revealed the secret of the zipper, the bear decided that it was finally time to strike and take what was his!
  

Hey!

• Bullet Point 1: Your girl is mistaken. It is not stupid. It may, however, be over her head in its sophistication! Or it might mean that she doesn't get inside jokes that she is not privy to.
• Bullet Point 2: I don't really understand what your bullet points have to do with my explanation. (Which, as it turns out, explained the entire comic, frame by frame!)
• Bullet Point 3: I don't like your uppity tone, mister man!
• Bullet Point 4: Who cares what the bear's motivations were, it was funny! Did you let her write your rant or something?
• Bullet Point 5: You failed to address my Space Ghost reference and add one of your own. If you had made this post as a documentary for public television, they would have told you it was stupid and grossly inaccurate.

In conclusion, stop doing work at work and read SG transcripts at work instead. :-D

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• My girl is totally awesome and she is never mistaken!
• Also, a required Space Ghost reference: I'm really creative. Sometimes I wear an eyepatch because I'm so creative.

--regolith